Do you talk to your teen daily?

Talking with your teen is one of the most important ways that you can support them during their adolescence. It is not always easy. Use these tips to help you talk to your teens about anything.

• Create an open environment
• Consider your teen’s temperament
• Respect your child’s feelings and ask for their opinion
• Understand the question
• Always be honest
• If you don’t know something, admit it
• Don’t leave big information gaps
• Use age-appropriate language
• Get feedback
• Avoid Dialogue Busters:
• "When you live under my roof, you abide by my rules."
• "When I was your age..."
• "When you’re 18 you can do whatever you want"
• "Your father (mother) is going to be disappointed in you."
• "Do as I say, not as I do." (With regards to smoking and drinking)
• "Money doesn’t grow on trees"
• "Life’s not fair. Get used to it."
• Use Dialogue Builders:
• "What do you think..."?
• "How else could you..."
• "Tell me about it..."
• "Sounds like you are saying..."
• "Do you mean that..."
• "When that happens to me I feel like..."
• "That must make you feel..."
• "I am worried about you. You look...(or) You sound..."
• Be patient, don’t interrupt
• Say it again and again
• Give them your undivided attention
• Speak separately to kids of different ages; and most importantly,
• Listen. Listen to the Little Stuff. Listen Between the Lines.

Source: "Talking with Kids about Tough Issues", www.talkingwithkids.org for the 2007 Parenting Awareness Month Organizers’ Packet and "Communication Tips for Parents" by Lawrence Kutner, PhD found in "What Every Parent Should Know: A Resource Guide" published by the Greater West Bloomfield Community Coaliton and the West Bloomfield Library. Also see "How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk" by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish.